Description:
Educational Objectives:
*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*
Outline:
Disorders of Desire in Sex Therapy
Common issues include low sexual desire and performance anxiety.
Desire issues compared to other "wanna-wanna" problems like anorexia or depression.
Stimulation is key to maintaining desire, per Bill Masters.
Hypnotic Techniques in Sex Therapy
Metaphor: car with four wheels—mind, behavior, physiology, and state.
Traditional therapy targets thoughts and behaviors; hypnosis adds direct state change.
Hypnosis helps elicit desire through cue-building and experiential techniques.
Influenced by Milton Erickson’s experiential learning model.
Michelle Weiner-Davis' Perspective
Focuses on couples near divorce and the role of sexual issues.
Introduces the concept of a sexual desire gap between partners.
Emphasizes addressing both emotional and sexual concerns directly.
Spontaneous vs. Responsive Arousal
Responsive arousal becomes more relevant with age.
Helen Fisher’s model: lust, attraction, and attachment as love’s components.
Biological drive for sex linked to need for bonding and restlessness.
Women often report increased satisfaction with age despite hormonal changes.
Generational Shifts in Desire
Younger women showing more spontaneous desire than past generations.
Social changes (e.g., birth control, sexual revolution) increased women’s sexual agency.
Many women now report higher desire than their male partners.
Recognizing cultural shifts is essential for effective therapy.
Building Desire Through Rituals
Hypnosis and mental rituals (e.g., fantasy with furniture) can build desire.
“Interspersal technique” uses everyday conversation to create sexual anticipation.
Humor and empathy are key in normalizing client concerns.
Noticing and reinforcing small signs of desire is therapeutic.
Sexual Issues in Younger Couples
Younger couples often grieve the loss of lust and spontaneity.
Prevention and normalization help reduce shame and build resilience.
Therapists should guide couples to identify subtle signs of connection and desire.
Emotional intimacy and sexual issues must both be addressed for lasting success.
Michele Weiner-Davis, LCSW is the Founder of The Divorce Busting Center in Boulder, Colorado. She is a popular TEDx speaker and the author of eight books including, Healing From Infidelity, and the bestselling Divorce Busting and The Sex-Starved Marriage. She is the recipient of several prestigious awards including the Outstanding Contribution to Marriage and Family Therapy Award from AAMFT.
Jeffrey K. Zeig, PhD, is the Founder and Director of the Milton H. Erickson Foundation and is president of Zeig, Tucker & Theisen, Inc., publishers in the behavioral sciences. He has edited, co-edited, authored or coauthored more than 20 books on psychotherapy that appear in twelve foreign languages. Dr. Zeig is a psychologist and marriage and family therapist in private practice in Phoenix, Arizona.