CC07 Dialogue 01 - Integrating Attachment and Differentiation-Based Interventions in Couples Therapy - Ellyn Bader, PhD, and Stan Tatkin, PsyD

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. To compare and contrast clinical approaches of practitioners.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline 

Panel Introduction & Purpose

• Panel features Ellen Bader and Stan Tatkin discussing integration of attachment and differentiation in couples therapy.
• Format: individual presentations followed by Q&A.

Stan Tatkin on Integration & Neuroimaging

• Highlights challenges of integrating diverse psychological theories.
• Stresses the value of neuroimaging and brain development research in understanding relationships.
• Shares personal journey through systems, attachment, and neuroscience-based approaches.

Tatkin on Attachment & Arousal

• Explains how the autonomic nervous system and arousal influence couple dynamics.
• Emphasizes attachment styles’ impact on adult relationships and predictable patterns in therapy.

Ellen Bader on Differentiation & Intimacy

• Defines differentiation as key to maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships.
• Shares client examples illustrating differentiation breakthroughs.
• Stresses that real intimacy comes from tolerating tension and difference, not avoiding it.

Differentiation vs. Avoidant Attachment

• Clarifies that differentiation isn’t the same as avoidance.
• Focuses on helping couples manage tension, not escape it.
• Explores developmental stages of differentiation with practical examples.

Time-Outs & Co-Regulation

• Discussion around using time-outs in therapy:
  • Tatkin: Use sparingly, prioritize co-regulation and staying connected.
  • Bader: Time-outs should help re-engage, not enable avoidance.

Managing Arousal & Anxiety in Relationships

• Heightened arousal leads to physiological responses that impact relationships.
• Couples need support learning how to manage stress and anxiety together.
• Therapists guide partners in these moments to build resilience.

Gestalt Prayer vs. Differentiation

• Question raised about the Gestalt prayer’s focus on individuation.
• Bader clarifies: differentiation preserves connection while holding individuality.
• Therapists help couples balance both.

Therapist’s Role in Differentiation & Anxiety

• Therapists help couples stay present and manage anxiety effectively.
• Address emotional escalation early to keep couples engaged.
• Focus on creative, collaborative solutions benefiting both partners.

Final Thoughts & Integrating Models

• Audience concern: integrating varied models is overwhelming.
• Panel reassures integration is a gradual process rooted in personal experience.
• Therapists are encouraged to stay open, engaged, and patient with the learning curve.