CC11 Topical Panel 03 – Couples and Divorce: How Do You Assess When Separation/Divorce Make Sense or Does it? – Lilian Borges, MA, LPC; William Doherty, PhD; Julie Gottman, PhD

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. To compare and contrast clinical and philosophical perspectives of experts.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

• Panel Introduction & Format

  • Speakers discuss approaches to assessing couples considering divorce.

  • Each panelist presents briefly, followed by audience discussion.

• Assessment Methods

  • Three-session assessment (oral history, conflict discussion, individual interviews).

  • Evaluates fondness, conflict management, and shared values.

• Case Studies

  • Diane and Addicted Husband: Advised separation due to husband's severe addiction, financial abuse, and lack of empathy.

  • Spanish-speaking Patient: Conflicted between fiancé and former husband; complicated by immigration issues and psychiatric misdiagnosis.

• Discernment Counseling

  • Helps couples decide clearly between divorce and reconciliation.

  • Identifies conflicting narratives and external influences (e.g., undermining therapists).

  • Questions the effectiveness of therapist neutrality; emphasizes holding hope.

• Conflicts of Interest in Therapy

  • Importance of prioritizing couples’ and children's wellbeing.

  • Therapists must support informed decision-making, avoiding bias toward reconciliation or divorce.

• Challenges in Couples Therapy

  • Rebuilding trust after small betrayals and emotional injuries.

  • Ensuring emotional intimacy and understanding partners' deeper needs.

• Views on Lifelong Monogamy

  • Panel challenges the idea that humans aren't suited to lifelong relationships.

  • Emphasizes friendship, conflict resolution, and shared meaning as keys to lasting partnerships.

• Therapist’s Role and Importance of Hope

  • Therapists encouraged to actively maintain hope, especially during difficult moments.

  • Avoid neutral stance when couples are discouraged; provide emotional support and guidance.

• Final Recommendations

  • Encourage couples to commit adequate time and effort to therapy.

  • Therapists must carefully consider their influence on couples’ decisions.

  • Highlight ongoing importance of hope, empathy, and informed guidance in therapy.