CC15 Topical Panel 02 - Deepening Attachment and Connection - Harville Hendrix, PhD, Marion Solomon, and Stan Tatkin, PsyD

Description:

Educational Objectives:

1. To describe the use of brief therapy techniques in specific clinical situations.   

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Panel Introduction

• Panel includes Harville Hendrix, Marion Solomon, and Stan Tatkin.

• Moderator shares personal connection with panelists and sets a casual, engaging tone.

• Emphasis on the importance of relationships for both clients and therapists.

Safety and Cultural Shifts

• Marion Solomon discusses how the women's movement has changed relational dynamics.

• Notes men often struggle more with communication and therapy.

• Relationship issues often stem from communication deficits, not pathology.

• Emphasis on shifting from individualism to connection and differentiation.

Therapists as Cultural Influencers

• Therapists should influence cultural norms through writing, teaching, and clinical work.

• Neutrality isn’t always helpful—therapists must share clear values and direction.

• Therapy should model healthy relational values in a culture that often undermines them.

Relational Focus in Therapy

• Stan Tatkin stresses the importance of connection, social support, and secure functioning.

• Therapists must help couples develop secure attachments and reliable patterns.

• Need to counter cultural messages that glorify independence over mutual care.

Building Secure Relationships

• Tatkin encourages structured, clear direction and therapist self-regulation.

• Solomon highlights setting and communicating therapeutic goals, even if challenging.

• Use of “therapeutic astonishment” (surprise/disruption) to reveal patterns.

• Couples need predictability and reliability to feel safe and thrive.

Empathy and Mind Reading

• Mind reading (understanding others’ mental states) is essential in secure bonding.

• Empathy is both a neurobiological and relational skill.

• Therapists must track both verbal and non-verbal communication cues in session.

Fear, Threat, and Cultural Stress

• Cultural fear can influence therapy if therapists aren’t mindful.

• Tatkin introduces “unseen fear” and warns against amplifying anxiety unnecessarily.

• Solomon links fear responses to evolutionary needs for connection and safety.

• Therapists should help couples feel secure while addressing real issues.

Early and Preventative Interventions

• Tatkin and others advocate for premarital and early relationship therapy.

• Need for better models to teach relationship skills before problems escalate.

• Idea: teach children and adolescents how to manage conversations and conflict.

Community and Connection

• Solomon emphasizes that community is central to healing and well-being.

• Therapists should help couples develop empathy, trust, and communication.

• The panel calls on therapists to promote relational values in the wider culture.

Conclusion

• Therapists are positioned to foster healthier relationships and cultural change.

• Building secure, empathic, and connected relationships benefits couples and societ.