EP20 Workshop 12 - Safe Conversations: From the Clinic to the Culture - Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

Description:

Safe Conversations is a social action initiative to take relational science from the clinic to the culture in order to help facilitate a transition from an individualistic to a relational civilization. Since talking is the most dangerous thing people do, and since listening is the most infrequent, and since difference is the source of polarization, this relational intervention helps people talk without criticizing, listen without judgment and connect beyond their differences. Delivered globally, this relational technology could create a safe world in which everyone is equal, diversity is celebrated and inclusiveness is total.

Educational Objectives:

1. Describe the technology of Safe Conversations.
2. Discuss the steps for the emergence of a relational culture.
3. Teach the Safe Conversations process to others.

*Sessions may be edited for content and to preserve confidentiality*

Outline:

Introduction to Safe Conversations

• Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt introduce themselves as co-founders of Imago Relationship Therapy and Safe Conversations.

• Emphasize the inherent worth of every person and encourage self-affirmation.

• Aim to take relational science out of clinics and make it accessible to the public.

• Inspired by the idea of democratizing therapy.

Origin and Goals of Safe Conversations

• Formed a team to spread relational practices to the public.

• Chose Dallas, TX—due to high divorce and poverty rates—as a pilot city.

• Vision: build a “relational civilization” where connecting is primary.

• Strategy: begin with couples and families, expand to schools, workplaces, and communities.

Expansion and Evolution

• Project grew from Dallas to a global mission.

• Long-term goal: reach 3.8 billion people over 40 years.

• Shifted from for-profit to public benefit corporation to scale effectively.

• Train-the-trainer model to accelerate impact.

Theoretical Foundation

• Critique of classical physics’ view of people as separate, competing individuals.

• New model based on quantum theory: everything is interconnected.

• The "space between" people is the source of healing and connection.

How Safe Conversations Work

• Begins with self-affirmation and affirming others.

• Core dialog process: mirroring, validating, empathizing.

• Uses structured sentence stems and eye contact to ensure safety.

• Emphasizes zero negativity and daily affirmations to maintain connection.

Addressing Relationship Challenges

• Harville and Helen share personal struggles with negativity.

• Stress the need to replace blame with curiosity and wonder.

• Empathy is key—partners explore childhood wounds and unmet needs.

• Exercises help couples validate and meet each other's emotional needs.

Wider Impact and Feedback

• Safe Conversations adapted for use in law enforcement, with veterans, and in community organizations.

• Participants report stronger, more supportive relationships.

• Concludes with a musical performance reinforcing the message of mutual support and connection.