EP21 Clinical Demonstration 02 - The Imago Dialogue and Process - Harville Hendrix, PhD; Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

The Imago Dialogue Process is a structured interaction between intimate partners that creates Safety so they can drop their defenses, become vulnerable and experience connecting. Using the structure enables couples to talk about any subject with creative engagement and without polarizing.

Learning Objectives

1. Discuss the value of a structured therapy process.

2. Describe the three steps of the process.

3. Engage couples in the Imago Dialogue Process

Outline:

Overview of Imago Therapy

• Imago Therapy focuses on the relational paradigm over the individual paradigm.

• Core method: structured dialog between a “sender” and a “receiver.”

• Steps include: asking for an appointment, mirroring, validating, and empathizing.

Setting Up the Dialog

• Start by asking for a good time to talk.

• Use eye contact and calm energy to create safety (shift from glare to gaze).

• Regulate the conversation with hand signals or breathing.

• Decide who goes first and stay relaxed.

Imago Dialog Demonstration

• Video demonstration of dialog process.

• Sender shares a message, receiver mirrors and validates it.

• Shows how structure has remained effective over 20+ years.

Caring Behavior Dialog

• Focuses on asking your partner what makes them feel loved and cared for.

• Helen shares story of learning that gifts didn’t resonate with Harville—he preferred alone time.

• Process deepens mutual understanding of emotional needs.

Validation and Empathy

• Mirroring = repeating partner’s message.

• Validation = understanding their perspective (not necessarily agreeing).

• Empathy = feeling their emotion while staying grounded in self.

• Builds connection and emotional safety.

Practical Application

• Demonstration using a positive moment (e.g., Harville hugging Helen when she was stressed).

• Shows how to use dialog to deepen appreciation and connection in small, everyday situations.

Addressing Conflict and Polarization

• Dialog process helps de-escalate arguments and create safe space for tough topics.

• Receiver’s role is to stay grounded and keep communication calm and constructive.

• Used successfully even in highly conflicted relationships.

Using Dialog with Clients

• Originally introduced through psychoeducation, now used more experientially in therapy.

• Structure gives couples immediate experience of safety and empathy.

• Helps address issues without judgment or criticism.

Co-Creation and Partnership in Therapy

• Helen brings intuitive, creative input; Harville brings structure.

• Therapy emphasizes co-creating solutions and holding differences in balance.

• Partnership is the goal: working together to resolve issues.

Q&A and Closing

• Dialog process works for all couples, including those in conflict or with teens.

• Encourages lateral (equal) conversations between parents and children.

• Audience invited to connect further via Harville and Helen’s websites and movements.