This one-hour speech focuses on what all couple therapists should at least consider: social justice and fairness agreements between partners. The human primate is warlike, self-centered, mostly automatic, and given to flights of fancy, moodiness, and other unpredictable feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Thus, the social science predicate of civilization dictates that, to hold human beings accountable, there must be agreements between individuals that protect them from one another. Shared principles of governance points to the matter of partners governing each other and everyone else as the couple is the smallest unit of a society. Principles are hierarchically more personal and self-governing than rules or laws. In other words, principles speak to character.
PACT is a non-linear, poly-theoretical approach that fuse theories of attachment, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation. PACT is quickly gaining a reputation for effectively treating couples typically thought of as challenging.
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) produces deep, lasting change in couples quickly by breaking many cherished couple’s therapy rules. We take sides, for example. Not all problems are fifty-fifty. We judiciously self-disclose. We’re in it with you. We work with trauma in each partner, doing deep individual work in the presence of one another. We pay close attention to gender – the unique characteristics of men and women in our culture and how those differences collide. We work with issues of both shame and also of grandiosity. We explicitly address power imbalances, and rebalance them.